But I’m so tired of convincing myself.. Im so tired of this fckin mask. I can’t breathe anymore. I can’t fckin fake everything anymore. I’m driving myself crazy thinking of all my imperfections. Whenever I’m not telling myself “im okay”, I literally think of all the ways I want to die. Earlier I broke down, and people were so surprised that I had so much suppressed under the usual smiles that they see everyday..
One day, you’ll just wake up, go to school, and realize that I’m no longer there…
And when it comes down to it, I just keep thinking.. Did I even make a dent in people’s lives?
Sometimes I don’t inform you about whats been going on lately, not because I don’t want you to know. But because I don’t want you to be worried about me. I’ve already done too much.
Today, I had the biggest melt down…
I have never felt so worthless in my life. I ran out of class sobbing. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m so tired of suppressing everything that I’m feeling. I’m so tired of being a “waste of space”. I’m tired of realizing that one day, i will wake up unhappy with my life.. That the decisions I’m making now will not benefit me, rather, this… This day. Today. I am beginning my self destruction…